One of the hardest things to remember is that I’m human. I guess it gets lost in the mix; I’m an employee, I’m a boyfriend, I’m a friend, I’m a musician, I’m a designer. In all of these things, I try to be the best I can. Some things are easier than others, and some things are more frustrating than others, but I still hope to do my best in all of them. And yet, being human, at least in the way Jesus saw how a human should be, is not my forté. I don’t love people, in fact, I’ve had a hard time even liking people, even a little bit. I think all day about the areas I’d like to be better at, ie. environmentally friendly, helpful to those in need, etc. and yet, I don’t do anything to get any better.
I’m starting to feel anxious about music. I know that this is what I want to do, but I’m at a loss as to how to go about it. Here’s the conundrum: in order to play music, you must make money; in order to make money, you must work; in order to work, you must agree to work hours that may prohibit you from playing music. See what I mean? I had a good talk with Sarah last night, and I think that if were to be honest with myself and with you, I would have to say that I would honestly like to do music full-time for the rest of my life. I just have to figure out how I can go about that. I know I love playing with my band, and if that is how it will happen, then I am more than happy. The only thing is, I don’t know if the other guys are all on the same page in those terms. I don’t blame them, they have dreams and asparations they’ve had since they were young too. I just hope that possibly our dreams will line up, and we’ll be able to go full out with this and put as much energy as we can into it, so that it WILL become successful.
Anyways, that’s sort of me without a muzzle. Oh, what do you think of the new design? Tres chaud?※ Permalink for “January 20, 2006” published on date_to_rfc822