I haven’t been eating well the last few days. It started last week when I ate gluten for the first time in a few weeks. I had a donut from Tim Hortons.

Since starting on Paleo, I have only had gluten once, otherwise cutting it out completely. I haven’t had fast food all year.

A big part of my success is due to my location. I live next to a grocery store and a butcher shop. While I can’t say for sure, I imagine it might be harder if I moved to a place where these amenities aren’t as close.

Two weeks ago, when I left to visit my family and friends in Ontario, I was nervous about my eating situation. First, there is so much food in my parents’ kitchen, which I used to gorge on late at night watching Buffy reruns. Second, I drove everywhere, which meant I passed numerous fast food operations frequently. The first week, I made it. However, the second week I was not so strong.

As I said, it started with a donut. I was driving home from visiting friends and was starving. Just before I got out of the city, one last sign caught my eye. The red, white, and yellow glow drew me in, and suddenly I found myself at the speakerbox.

“A large chocolate milk and a Boston Cream donut to go.”

And then I paid. And then I drove. And then I ate.

It was so rich. More artificially sweet than anything I’d eaten in months.

My streak was blown again, but I wasn’t out of the rough yet. My new streak was blown a mere three days later.

In the past, this would be the point where I give up. I realize I can’t do what I’ve set out to do, and then fall back into my old patterns. I would gain the weight I had lost, closing myself off from the world with food.

Today, I’m back on track. I picked up some groceries last night. I’ve planned to go for a run after work. I’m moving on.

I’m starting to learn to let the small things be small, and the big things be big. In the end, the donut was a small thing.

There were things I learned. There were things I loved. There were things I hated. There were things that challenged me. There were things that brought me to my knees. There were things that lifted me to the heavens. There were tears of joy. There were tears of pain. There were happy little accidents that led to life-changing decisions. There were new friendships made and old friendships strengthened. There was a move across the country. There was a lease to sign. There were movies made. There were songs written. There were designs thrown away. There were things that, in the end, worked out just fine.

There were “Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred” more minutes. There were some I used wisely, others I used foolishly, but the ones I remember most were the ones full of friends, love, and laughter.

Thank you to everyone who made my twenty-eighth year one of my best.

I don’t feel it yet.

I see it in my face and gut when I look in the mirror. I notice it when I throw on my jacket that fits a bit looser or when a belt tightens to the next notch. People around me have commented that they’ve noticed the change.

The last time I lost weight—when I lost 60 lbs in about 8 months—I still felt fat. I wasn’t. I very quickly put that weight back on, so I don’t know whether I would have become more comfortable at my new size given more time.

I do have more energy. I find it less taxing to climb the stairs to my third floor office. I still haven’t started working out regularly, but have a plan to start tonight.

Most of all, though, I’m proud. I truly did not believe I would ever lose weight again. The diets and programs I had tried and failed at in the past led me to believe I was doomed to be overweight. I had to let that fear of failure go, accept the responsibility for my self, and put the system I needed in place to affect change.

And I’ve done that. I have a ways to go before I reach my ultimate goal, but I’m heading in the right direction. I’m not worried anymore about the past. I’m letting it go in favour of the future.

And the future looks oh so bright.

I’ve redesigned my blog a few times, now. Ok, probably close to a dozen. Ok, ok… maybe a bit more.

Previous redesigns have primarily been a result of my own boredom. My blog is where I experiment, challenging myself to learn new techniques or technologies. It was where I first taught myself HTML 5, responsive design, and even Javascript.

For the most part, my previous designs were for me. Yes, I cared that other people enjoyed them and found them easy to read/navigate, but the primary person I was trying to impress was me.

This design, on the other hand, is for my mom.

I gave my mom an iPad 2 not too long ago, and one of the shortcuts she has added to her home screen is my blog. She enjoys reading what I’m up to and seeing the pictures I’ve taken. It, along with Facebook, are her windows into my life when I’m not around. And now that I live a couple thousands miles from her, having this site to share what I’m up to is even more important.

And so, I wanted to redesign the site to maximize her enjoyment of it. I’ve increased the size of the type. I’ve simplified the design of the archive (hat tip and thanks to Maykel Loomans for letting me steal borrow his design). I’ve tried my best to make it a great experience for her.

I plan to write more and photograph more, sharing the experiences I have and the lessons I learn, in an effort to keep both of my parents up to date with my life. That doesn’t mean I won’t be writing about design or technology or stupid jokes. Thankfully, my parents like stupid jokes. And perhaps you do, too.

So mom, if you’re reading this (and I know you are), I love you, and I hope that this site is more enjoyable for you now.

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