The Donut

I haven’t been eating well the last few days. It started last week when I ate gluten for the first time in a few weeks. I had a donut from Tim Hortons.

Since starting on Paleo, I have only had gluten once, otherwise cutting it out completely. I haven’t had fast food all year.

A big part of my success is due to my location. I live next to a grocery store and a butcher shop. While I can’t say for sure, I imagine it might be harder if I moved to a place where these amenities aren’t as close.

Two weeks ago, when I left to visit my family and friends in Ontario, I was nervous about my eating situation. First, there is so much food in my parents’ kitchen, which I used to gorge on late at night watching Buffy reruns. Second, I drove everywhere, which meant I passed numerous fast food operations frequently. The first week, I made it. However, the second week I was not so strong.

As I said, it started with a donut. I was driving home from visiting friends and was starving. Just before I got out of the city, one last sign caught my eye. The red, white, and yellow glow drew me in, and suddenly I found myself at the speakerbox.

“A large chocolate milk and a Boston Cream donut to go.”

And then I paid. And then I drove. And then I ate.

It was so rich. More artificially sweet than anything I’d eaten in months.

My streak was blown again, but I wasn’t out of the rough yet. My new streak was blown a mere three days later.

In the past, this would be the point where I give up. I realize I can’t do what I’ve set out to do, and then fall back into my old patterns. I would gain the weight I had lost, closing myself off from the world with food.

Today, I’m back on track. I picked up some groceries last night. I’ve planned to go for a run after work. I’m moving on.

I’m starting to learn to let the small things be small, and the big things be big. In the end, the donut was a small thing.

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