I was in the rec room in my aunt and uncle’s basement when I first saw Hulk Hogan bodyslam André the Giant. It’s been 30 years since I saw my first WrestleMania on a VHS tape. While like most people my interest in the world of professional wrestling has ebbed and flowed. But tonight, my interest in the product is at an all time high.
I thought I’d share my picks for the matches on the main card.
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns (Universal Championship)
Brock Lesnar legitimately is the Universal Champion. No one, not even Roman, is bigger. They’ll give it to Roman, but only because they still have plans for Brock and don’t want to feed him to Braun Strowman just yet.
That said, I could see Roman benefitting from having Paul Heyman turn on Brock. It won’t hurt Brock, but could give Roman a far bigger platform.
Roman defeats Brock
AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (WWE Championship)
The least exciting buildup for what will likely be the most exciting match. Yes, WWE, it’s a dream match. But not because you said so over and over and over again.
Nakamura defeats AJ
Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H & Stephanie McMahon
I predict Rhonda breaks HHH’s arm.
Rhonda breaks HHH’s arms
Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Asuka (Smackdown Women’s Championship)
Charlotte losing to Asuka tonight all but guarantees a Charlotte vs Rhonda rivalry for this year, giving Rhonda a legitimate challenge before climbing the ladder to meet the Empress at next year’s Wrestlemania.
Asuka defeats Charlotte
Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn (If Owens and Zayn win, they will be reinstated)
I am so intrigued by this match. These guys are clearly the most over talent on SmackDown, but I don’t yet see how this leads to what ultimately matters: Daniel Bryan getting his chance to win the WWE championship at next year’s Wrestlemania.
Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn defeat Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon
The Miz (c) vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Bálor (Intercontinental Championship)
The Miz is awesome.
Finn Bálor defeats The Miz and Seth Rollins
Randy Orton (c) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev (United States Championship)
I want Jinder to win this title and rub it in America’s face.
Jinder defeats Randy Orton, Bobby Roode, and Rusev
The Bar (c) vs. Braun Strowman and unnamed partner (Raw Tag Team Championships)
Braun brings out a cardboard cutout of himself to stand in his corner. Wins in under a minute.
Braun and a cardboard cutout defeats The Bar
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Nia Jax (Raw Women’s Championship)
I am actually very emotionally invested in this match. Growing up, I too was ridiculed for being fat. Nia Jax is the Braun Strowman of the women’s division and deserves to demolish everyone who stands in her way.
Nia devours Alexa Bliss
The Usos vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers (Smackdown Tag Team Championships)
The Usos need to win this match, but I’m scared it will be given to the Bludgeon Brothers, the worst gimmick given to two of the most badass looking wrestlers ever.
The New Day throws pancakes