i’ve struggled with the question of whether or not God hears our prayers when we pray. i don’t mean it in a systematic theology way, i mean it in a real, emotional/spiritual way. in my heart, i want to believe that he hears what i ask, but so many times it seems like my requests don’t quite make it to the throne room. i then wonder “am i asking the right things?” “am i asking the right way?” “should i be praying for something else rather than my own needs? is God concerned with my worries?”

i was reading a magazine today that had a question that felt like the one i had asked so many times. it went on to talk about psalms 22. david sang “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? … O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer.”

it seems like this feeling is felt across the world. i think of the people in africa who must feel like their pleas for rescue continue to go unheard. i think of the teenagers around the world who suffer through depression and loneliness, wondering if there’s anyone in the world who could reach and save them. i think of the parents who have a child who is sick, or even a child who is missing. or the single mom who’s working three jobs just to feed their children. or the father who’s been widowed who feels that they now have a huge void to now fill.

i wonder if God hears these prayers, and then i read the next verse.

Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the praise of Israel.

it isn’t easy to honestly say, but i do believe God is in control and that he does hear our prayers. it sucks that not always are the answers we expect to receive the answers that God knows is best for us. but i look back at the last year, the character i’ve built, the person i’ve become. i wouldn’t be this strong if i hadn’t walked through the flames. i wouldn’t be this concerned for my friends if i hadn’t lost them all. i wouldn’t have felt God running after me if i hadn’t run away.

i don’t pray God would listen, cos he already is. i pray that i would listen, to him and to people who need to hear from God, cos i think he speaks through me and through other people way more than through signs in the stars.