some major developments have transpired over the last two days.

i stopped in at the salt lounge tonight to grab a drink, and to see if anyone i knew was hanging out/playing. turns out a band called leviride were. i opened for them a while back, and i really enjoyed their songs. i went up and said hey to the lead singer tonight, chatted it up a bit. however after talking to him, i had a thought.

i wondered if he knew i was a christian, and if he didn’t and found out, if his perception of me would change. i thought “would he think i was an intolerant bigot, bent on forcing my views on other people and ‘saving’ them?” would he think “this guy is part of the group that’s responsible for more deaths than any other religion”? i basically wondered, “does this guy think i’m ‘different’”?

walking back to my car, i then thought “those first two things i can’t really change, and i hope that he would have enough understanding or at least enough willingness to hear me out about those issues. But, that last question, I wonder if I would rather that answer be ‘yes’?”

i wonder if people look at me and realize that there is life inside of me? i wonder if there’s that sparkle in the eye, the calmness in my voice that lets people know that i’m safe and that i’m good. i may mess up, but God is making me a perfect person. he promised he would. he said i would be a new creature and that i would be used to reconcile the world to him. am i that person? am i sometimes that person? can people see that life in me?